Life is...

complicated
frustrating
infuriating
exhillerating
stressful
painful
joyful and more...

Why do I think that life with you would be even better?

C'est la vie

"Friends isn't bad, you know.
                 
Friends is quite something."

I want more

I want to do more, write more, feel more creative.
I want to think more, see more, experience more theatre.
I want to push more, argue more, express myself more fluently.
I want to influence more, inspire more, take more people with me.
I want to understand more, make more, have more ideas (even bad ones would be good).
I want to be more than just this.

Only 5 days til my holiday

YES!

A whole week of the Cunt Kentryside (to quote, Trevor Mcdonald, I believe, though I can't find that exact clip. In the meantime here are some other news bloopers for you ) .

There will be much walking, giggling, tea shops, second hand bookstores, a bit of site-seeing and undoubtedly wine. Time to do some reading and hopefully some writing. Perhaps I will come up with a new grand plan for my life? Perhaps I will just switch my brain off for a week? No doubt I will continue to fantasise about a certain blue-eyed boy of whom I have become quite fond. But there will definitely be no work, no uncertainty and no

office politics for one whole week. I look forward to complete relaxation.

Yeah baby.

(OK, so the picture is Derbyshire but you get the idea...)

Taking a moment to remember.

I was just tidying and, as one often does, came across something I haven't looked at for ages. My Graduation book signed by most of my best mates from Uni. And I found a message from James, no suprise there but it made me stop in my tracks.

He wrote (I) "will always be there if you need me (although 'there' might not always be the same place but you'll know where it is)."

I'm pretty sure this isn't what he had in mind and I don't believe in any kind of afterlife or that he is watching over me. I know he didn't believe any of that either. But he is with me. I keep him with me and I remember him, not every day, but frequently. He was a big part of my life - knowing me at a time when I was just beginning to know myself - and all the memories and things that we shared can never be erased. And that feels good, even though it hurts too.

Rest with me
My lovely brother
For you see
There is no other
Memory so sad and sweet
I'll see you soon
Save me a seat

Well I'm cryin'
Now my lovely man
Yes I'm cryin'
Now and no one can
Ever fill the
The hole you left my man
I'll see you later
My lovely man if I can

RHCP

Smiling again

Maybe it's nothing but the possibility is so intoxicating...

I'm looking forward to meeting you.

:-)

So, Latitude

Well it started with two different rejections (from entirely different sources) and I began to worry that all the fantasies I'd had of the perfect festival might go down the toilet. As it turned out the only fantasy that didn't come true was one I have been living without for a while now so... It was awesome. Met some great new folks, got to know a few other people a little better. Enjoyed BIG hugs, lots of cider,some bands including stonkin sets by the PSB and The Gossip, saw/heard Mark Thomas and Ed Byrne, readings, happenings, dancing and drumming. Wrote a song called "Festival Poncho" and got the crowds to help us banish the clouds with a sun dance. Was propositioned by the man in the Walls van, was pretty sure that 'Just Joe' was angling for a threesome and generally enjoyed flirting like a bitch. Went to a 'VIP party' that contained no VIP's but was very enjoyable none the less. Survived on an average of 5 hrs sleep a night (at my age too!) and managed not to suffer any illness or injury (unlike many). All in all, it was possibly my best festival experience in that I feel I embraced the madness, the fancy dress and 'come as you aren't-ness' of the festival for the first time. I would like to thank everyone who contributed to this life-affirming experience. The HAT's, the organisers, the artists, the guests and the public. Ta muchly.